What happens when you change how you talk to yourself?

How many times have you caught yourself saying things like, “UGH! I’m never going to get this right,” or “Why am I SO bad at this?” It’s annoyingly easy to let negative self-talk become the default voice in your head. But did you know the way you talk to yourself can have a huge impact on how you see the world and handle life?

Your brain listens to what you say, even when you’re not paying much attention, and research shows that positive self-talk can help lower stress, boost your mood, and make it easier to bounce back from life’s little (and big) challenges. When you talk to yourself kindly and with love, you build resilience, but you also build a sense of possibility.

So how do you stop the negative self-talk?

The first step is to simply start clocking what you’re saying to yourself (you might not even know you’re being harsh!) It might sound strange, but take a pause the next time you feel frustrated or upset. Listen to that inner voice: are you being kind or critical? Awareness is the first step in shifting your mindset. If you catch yourself thinking, “I’m so bad at this,” take a mental note. You can’t change what you don’t notice.

Once you spot a negative thought, don’t try to force yourself into toxic positivity (trust us, that doesn’t work either). Instead, go for something more realistic and supportive. If you think, “I’m never going to get this right,” try flipping it to, “This is tough, but I’m learning and getting better.” Or, change “I can’t do this,” to “I’ll try my best and see how it goes.” We’re not pretending everything is perfect – we’re simply giving ourselves room to grow. 

If you find that hard, the easiest way to switch up your self-talk is to think about how you’d support a friend. If they were struggling, you wouldn’t say, “You’re terrible at this.” You’d say something supportive like, “You’ve got this – it just takes practice” – or something nice like that (we hope). Give yourself the same kindness. Your brain responds better to self-compassion than criticism, and over time, this helps rewire it to look for positive outcomes. 

And remember, building a habit of positive self-talk takes time, so be patient. There will be days when your mind defaults to negative chatter and that’s okay. The key is to keep practicing. Every time you choose a nicer thought, you’re reinforcing new pathways in your brain. You’re basically training a muscle, and the more you train it, the stronger it gets.

We hope this has helped some of you and just in case no one’s told you today: you’re doing great! If you need us, we’ll be training our brains to remember we’re ROCK STARS!

Rock on,
Nakie HQ